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Post by ninjapoodle on Nov 4, 2022 20:37:28 GMT
Please describe that picture for me.
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Post by kc on Nov 4, 2022 23:15:27 GMT
My grandmother painted it for me. Felt it was relevant since the other fella here was talking about his boys. It is never too late to do something nice and give or make them something that they will always cherish. Love you grandma.
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Post by infowar on Dec 13, 2022 14:29:23 GMT
This has a lot of backstory to it so I'll try to summarize and make it as brief as possible.
My ex-wife and I had our son right out of high-school. We were both 19 at the time and decided to keep it and a year after his birth we got married. I won't get too much into the details but his mother and I had a rough marriage and by 24 we were both divorced and moved on with our lives. I have had primary care of our son throughout his life while she has had a lot of visitation/ had him stay with her at various lengths.
All throughout his life my son has had a rebellious streak. From trouble at school, lying to teachers, stealing, bullying, missing classes, you name it he's done it at some point. We tried therapy sessions but they never came to anything and he wouldn't show up for them. We've been in and out of court for stupid petty theft and other idiotic things he's done.
This streak also continued at home (though at his mother's he always manipulated her and presented himself as a victim, so her and I would butt heads from time to time as he often blamed me).
I tried to do things with him all his life, put him into extracurriculars, spend time with him, be interested in his hobbies but no matter what I've tried he's always lashed out and pushed back on me. I've gone to therapy myself and nothing worked.
He was always ungrateful to anything I did. He wanted to join dance class? I got him enrolled in a class I could afford on my salary. He would then tell me I'm abusive because I wouldn't put him in the more expensive ones. He wanted to drive? I bought him a car and taught him. But his car was "shitty" and "embarassing". The clothes I bought? Same thing. No matter how hard I've ever tried nothing has been good enough for him.
On top of that he's stolen from me, lied to me on numerous occasions, spread lies and rumors to his mom, teachers and friends about my supposed horrible treatment of him. He's 19 years old and blames me for every little thing that ever goes wrong in his life and his mother always echoes it.
Well 6 months ago it reached a boiling point. He asked me if he could borrow my car to go do something. I told him no because I had to go to the office late to get things ready for the morning. While I was in the shower he stole the keys to my car. He refused to answer my calls all night. In the morning a random vehicle dropped him off and I asked where my car was. He told me to fuck off, he had obviously been drinking, and went to sleep.
When he woke up I found out that he had gotten into a wreck with it (hitting a parked vehicle) and wrote off my car and the other one. On top of the insurance cost, raise in insurance after the collision, I also had to pay a towing fee for my now destroyed car. We got into a huge argument where he let me know everything he thought about me and what a horrible piece of shit dad I am. It ended with me kicking him out and him going to stay with his mother.
After 2 days of radio silence I get a nasty text from his mom. Apparently what he told her what happened is that he came out to me and that I blew up and kicked him out for being gay. I was pissed. Not because he was gay, that much had been obvious since he hit puberty if not even earlier even though he never brought it up to me. Just the sheer victim lying bullshit he had done his entire life hit me.
I didn't reply for a day after a steady stream of more abusive messages and his mom calling me a monster/piece of shit/abusive asshole etc and informed me that she called my work and let them know what a homophobe I am. Something in me in that last one just made my last bit of empathy snap.
For the record, I am not homophobic, having even had a gay experience myself in high school, but something in me just snapped. I wrote back confirming what he said to her as true and how I couldn't morally accept him back into my house and that I was essentially disowning him, how him being gay just wasn't something I could overcome. I was just sick of defending myself from his relentless bullshit and it felt freeing. My texts got put online by both him and my ex wife and spread like wildfire on my social media and I've lost some friends and family (while gaining others secret support). It was rough for a bit but even with that public crucifixion I feel happy, like I can breath again.
He sent me messages and tried calling me but I just reiterated what I said to his mother that I didn't agree with his new lifestyle and I figured it could be another thing he could be a victim about, and he could stay angry at me and just stay out of my life for good. After a while he just stopped trying.
My boss pulled me aside to talk to me and he congratulated on taking a stand against degeneracy and that my job wasn't at jeopardy. I was also forced to sit through some Bible thumping conservative rant about the state of the world but he couldn't say anything about ot because of snowflakes or some shit. After that he's been really nice to me; even giving me a better position in the company with a pay raise. I plan to use my new position to negotiate a good salary at a new company (I'm not going to stay working for someone with these shitty values/opinions, plus he won't stop inviting me to stupid events.)
All and all things couldn't have worked out better for me. I will remain a closeted lgbtq+ supporter and my son can stay the hell away from me and spread his narrative of how I kicked him out for being gay. Sorry for the long post, I had a lot more I could have added but it was already a lot. How do you summarize a child's entire life?
Tl;dr: My son accused me of kicking him out for being gay when he was actually kicked out for stealing my vehicle and crashing it. I just went with his version of the story and life has been better ever since
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